Infertility Awareness Month: Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You

This is probably one of those things that’s going to vary from person to person – but I still believe it’s better to err on the side of caution. Which means that, unless your friend has already said it’s okay to ask how things are going, just don’t. (Or if you do, accept the brush off if that person simply doesn’t want to talk about it.)

It’s tricky, because the medical processes involved in trying to conceive break down every shred of modesty you might have previously possessed. But that doesn’t necessarily translate to wanting to talk about all the ins and outs of it with your friends and loved ones. And on this side of things, I can see how that might seem unreasonable – but at the time, for me at least, since I couldn’t control how many people ended up seeing me physically naked, I had to control who saw me stripped emotionally.

What this may mean is that you find out someone’s going through infertility treatment and then don’t get any more information for quite a while. Try to remember that as much as you care about that person, it really just isn’t about you. Be there. Offer your support, but be okay if they choose not to take you up on it.

(And also, this may simply not apply – you may run into people who want to give you every gory detail. Unfortunately, I don’t recommend asking them to hush if the details make you uncomfortable or feel like TMI. The advice remains the same – be there and offer your support. And then try to find a way to forget the mental pictures they painted for you.)