For a little while now, I've been trying to up my game when it comes…
Two Questions From My WIP
So as I’m working through edits on Wisdom to Know (you can read the blurb under Books if you’re so inclined), I’ve gotten two comments from my Critique Partner that left me scratching my head. So…am I the weird one, or is she? (That’s meant to be funny – she’s really very helpful.)
Next up.
On the other hand,” she barreled on cutting off Lydia’s attempt to interject, “if I’d married Ryan, I’d’ve missed out on Matthew. So,” she paused, “in the end I guess I should say thank you.”
“I’d be happy if you would just say you forgive me.”
“I can say that, too.”
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Although I think Laura (without knowing the context, mind you) is being snarky. She could say she forgives Lydia, but she likely won’t. 🙂
And is hipshot a sideways glance in the mirror?
Hm – she’s not intended to be snarky. I’ll have to re-read that section and see if it’s just the snippet I chose or if that’s how it’s coming across. She is supposed to be saying that Lydia’s already forgiven. Guess I should just be more clear rather than trying to be witty. 🙂
Hipshot is standing with all your weight on one leg, hip jutting out. Think defensive teenager. Is it more clear (and not too clunky) to say she stood with one hip jutting out? Would that make more sense to people?
I’ve not heard of the idiom, so unless your target audience is “hip” with this lingo then maybe go with hand on hip or something. No biggie though.
I knew what hipshot meant, but apparently it is a very old, rare word that first means you have a dislocated hip. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hipshot so definitely choose other words to describe this.
and by “old, rare word” i really meant ‘horcrux’.
LOL
Clearly I need to incorporate horcruxes (horcruxi?) into my novel.