Writer’s Conferences Aren’t For Everyone

I’ve been thinking a lot about the two writer’s conferences I’ve gone to recently and come to the conclusion that, for me at least, writer’s conferences aren’t nearly as useful as they seem like they should be (or at least as useful as “they” – you know, the great collective wisdom of “they” – say they should be.) As an aspiring writer, and even still as a trying-to-get-noticed-in-all-the-noise published author, everyone (and really, it’s everyone) says “Oh, go to a writer’s conference! You’ll connect with other authors! You’ll be inspired! You’ll make friends! You’ll come home refreshed, rejuvenated, and raring to go!”

And so, like a good girl who wants to take the advice I’m given when it seems pretty universal – I’ve gone. And in both recent cases I came home ready to throw in the towel and it took between 4 and 8 weeks for me to even be able to force myself to write again. And frankly? I don’t have time for that.

I can honestly say I learned a lot at each of the conferences. But I think I’d’ve been better off learning the same material in the comfort of my home – either through a book by the person doing the presenting (e.g. James Scott Bell) or through buying the conference CDs and just listening to the parts that apply to me.

So what was the issue? I really don’t know. (I do know that I came home from both wondering what was wrong with me…everyone was gushing about their experiences and I was…not. Two months later, I’m slowly realizing that there’s not necessarily something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just not a conference person.) It’s not a matter of needing to grow a thick skin (I know that’s the thought that occurred to some of you – because it’s been the flippant reply offered up when I tried to discuss this with writer friends, hoping for some kind of honest help for why this seemed to be the case for me) – believe me, my skin’s pretty thick. Could it be thicker? Of course – I think even the most seasoned writer would say that.

It may simply be personality. Being around huge groups of people is exhausting. Being around those groups of people and trying desperately to meet and connect with people only to feel brushed off, even more exhausting. (Should I feel brushed off? Probably not – chances are, the people I was talking to were just as overwhelmed and exhausted as I was, and that’s why they looked through me when I tried to smile and wave the next time I saw them. But it’s still tough.) So some of what I have to do when I get home is recover from being around all those strangers. I need cave time.

I’m also not a big fan of the rah-rah cheerleading. And you get a lot of that in the big group sessions at writer’s conferences. I know it’s meant to inspire and encourage – but I’ve always been too grounded (and okay, sure, cynical) to get into the “If you believe, you can achieve” and “shoot for the mood, even if you fail, you’ll be among the stars” mentality. I’m much more of a “not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up” person. Yes, you need to put work into your writing and do the best you can and pray throughout the process and trust God for the outcome…but that doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get that contract with BigPublisher or BigAgent.

So, I think for me, I’m finished with conferences for a while. If you’ve never tried one and you really want to go, then do it. But don’t feel like a failure if you end up not loving it. And give yourself permission to stop feeling obligated to keep trying. You can learn craft and connect with other authors in all kinds of ways. A conference is just one of them.